“Never pay back evil for evil to anyone... As much as possible, as far as it depends on you, live in peace with everyone.” Romans 12:17-18 (NLT)

THE DAMAGE OF UNRESOLVED CONFLICT

• HINDERS MY FELLOWSHIP WITH GOD
• HINDERS MY FELLOWSHIP WITH OTHERS
• HINDERS MY PRAYERS
• “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7
• HINDERS MY PEACE

BIBLICAL STEPS TO RECONCILIATION

1. INITIATE THE RECONCILIATION

“If you’re standing before the altar in the Temple, giving an offering to God, and you suddenly remember someone

has something against you leave your offering there beside the altar. Go at once and first be reconciled to that

person. Then come and offer your gift to God.” Matthew 5:23-24 (NLT)

“RECONCILIATION TAKES PRIORITY OVER WORSHIP!”

A. CHOOSE THE RIGHT ATTITUDE:

• DON’T BE DEFENSIVE
• DON’T BE DISTANT
• DON’T BE DEMANDING

B. CHOOSE THE RIGHT TIME

C. CHOOSE THE RIGHT PLACE

2. REALIZE YOU HAVE BLIND SPOTS & TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PART OF THE PROBLEM

“Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend's eye, but you don't notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend's eye.” Matthew 7:3, 5 (NCV)

3. LISTEN FOR THE PAIN AND HURT IN THE OTHER PERSON

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19 (NLT)

4. CONSIDER THEIR VIEWPOINT

“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be

the same as that of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2:4-5 (NIV)

5. SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 (NIV)

“Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed.” Ephesians

4:29 (TEV)

6. DON’T FIX THE BLAME, FIX THE PROBLEM

“You must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” Colossians 3:8 (NIV)

“Let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.” Romans 14:13 (NIV)

7. SEEK RECONCILIATION NOT RESOLUTION

“Reconciliation” = to reestablish the relationship

“Resolution” = to resolve every issue

“‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God!’”. Matthew 5:9 (NIV)